One Month

It's been a month (and 2 days) since my dad went into the hospital for what we thought were just gall stones.

And one month since the diagnosis.

It weird. Sometimes I think this month has flown by. Other times, it seems to have dragged on forever. I love seeing my family more often; I just wish it was for some other reason. It's stressful, because every time I see them, I don't really know what to expect. Everyone's moods are up and down and all over the place.

My dad is really tired all the time, but he puts on a good game face. Sophie asked this weekend in papa was going to keep visiting until he died. Um, yeah, he is, but why do children have to always call it like they see it?

Thank God we have family and friends. It's amazing and comforting to see the amount of support we have all received. You know who your true friends are when they rally in a time of need to make sure you are getting support and help.

Most days are pretty good for me. I have a few bad ones (like yesterday) where I cry for what seems to be no reason at all (but yes, I realize there is a reason). But I worry most about my mom and little sister and how they'll fair through this and how they will carry on when my dad is gone.

Each time I see him, I get a little more scared because honestly, I never know if it will be the last time. We certainly hope that the chemo, etc., will by him some time, quality time if we are all fortunate, but the fact of the matter is, he's got a terminal disease. So for now, I'll just count my blessings that I get time period.