IHOP

So this is only sort of related. Related because my family was here in VT for chemo (that didn't happen because of some levels on the blood work results...maybe Erika can add some detail to that), and we went to eat at the recently-opened IHOP in the South Burlington Mall.

We tried to go last week, but there were about 20 people in front of us, so we decided not to wait that long. So we tried again today. I say try (I'll get to that part), because even though when we arrived, the restaurant was half empty, we spent more than 40 minutes waiting for our meals. And that was after the 10-minute wait to order drinks and another 10-minute wait to get (some of) them. Three waters, an iced coffee, and a Pepsi. Not too difficult, at least my former days as a waitress tell me it's not.

After about 20 minutes after we got our drinks, the waiter came back to refill my iced coffee. Seeing as how they weren't busy, I asked about our meal status (thinking they should be there any minute now). He said about another 6-7 minutes. Ooooookaaaaaay, 30 minutes for breakfast food on a slow day. But alas, no food in another 6-7 minutes, not even in another 20 minutes. I flagged down a waitress and asked her to check on our meals. She went in the kitchen, came back out, and proceeded to set her tables without even stopping back.

About 3 minutes later, our waiter comes out of the kitchen with (again, some of) our meals. And they are....wait for it...COLD! Clearly they have been sitting there under the lamps for quite some time. Nothing remotely fresh about them. Ugh. We are NOT eating this, and definitely not paying for it. The waiter goes to get the manager (another wait). He comes over to let us know he's going to comp the meal (ya think?!?!), blah blah blah, and would really like us to try them again sometime.

Um, no. Not even if you comp that meal, too.

So I came back to work without having eaten lunch. Whatever. It's a good thing I had some Pop Tarts in my desk drawer.

Another sleepless night.

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Literally. Not a wink. I finally took a nap at 9:30 or so today. Darn Patrick Swayze. You might giggle, but for real, it was completely his fault. See, I was all hopeful that dad was going to be just fine on the premise that Patrick was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he was just fine. Now he’s sick…really sick. He was my great white hope. What a poo. Then I started thinking about the lady with no expiration date. Hm. Haven’t seen one of those commercials in a while. Maybe she expired. Too bad…she was really very pleasant. Michael Landon. He seemed like a nice guy. Successful, great dad on TV and in real life too. Uncle Bob. Amazing dad, wonderful guy all around, a really great uncle. Maybe bad things like this only happen to really nice people. I should have mom look into being a little more rotten for safety’s sake. I talked to dad for all of about 2 minutes and then he let me go. That’s how you know he’s not feeling well, when he declines the offer to talk to one of his babies.

One Month

It's been a month (and 2 days) since my dad went into the hospital for what we thought were just gall stones.

And one month since the diagnosis.

It weird. Sometimes I think this month has flown by. Other times, it seems to have dragged on forever. I love seeing my family more often; I just wish it was for some other reason. It's stressful, because every time I see them, I don't really know what to expect. Everyone's moods are up and down and all over the place.

My dad is really tired all the time, but he puts on a good game face. Sophie asked this weekend in papa was going to keep visiting until he died. Um, yeah, he is, but why do children have to always call it like they see it?

Thank God we have family and friends. It's amazing and comforting to see the amount of support we have all received. You know who your true friends are when they rally in a time of need to make sure you are getting support and help.

Most days are pretty good for me. I have a few bad ones (like yesterday) where I cry for what seems to be no reason at all (but yes, I realize there is a reason). But I worry most about my mom and little sister and how they'll fair through this and how they will carry on when my dad is gone.

Each time I see him, I get a little more scared because honestly, I never know if it will be the last time. We certainly hope that the chemo, etc., will by him some time, quality time if we are all fortunate, but the fact of the matter is, he's got a terminal disease. So for now, I'll just count my blessings that I get time period.

Ah, another day

There's been an amazing amount of support from friends and family which is so needed at a time like this. Mom's friends from work are putting on a Jamboree on June 14th to show their support. It's really nice of them. I spent Easter weekend at Jana's with the whole family, and Justin as well. Dad seems to be getting more sick from the chemo, but I suppose that's par for the course and to be expected. Hopefully things will get better after a few cycles and he'll start to get his energy back. He's just so tired and down all the time :( Every other Wednesday I get to see Jana since I'll be bringing Dad to half his chemo treatments. That will help, at least I know that every other Wednesday night I can cry if I need to. I think what hit the hardest was Sophie pointing out to me that poppa was going to die, and that Zach and she wished that poppa wouldn't die til they were older. Me too kiddo, me too.

Choked Up

I've been having a few less random emotional outbursts than I was having before; I can't decide if the reality has finally sunk in and I've accepted it, or if I'm still in denial. I guess either is a possibility. The worst is when I talk to him. I can hear the emotion in his voice. Until now, I've only seen my dad cry a handful of times in my life...so few I could probably count them on one hand. Okay maybe 1 1/2 hands, but you get my point. My dad just doesn't cry. It's so rare. So to see him cry and get all choked up when he talks about the "gravity of the situation" (his words), is unnerving.

He's going to be in Burlington later today for his second chemo treatment. I'll be over there holding his hand.

4 days

I spent 4 days in heaven with a girlfriend this past weekend. It was a much-needed vacation. The fact that it was booked before my dad got sick, well that was just good timing I guess, because I wouldn't plan to be away for days at a time right now. Although I had a blast and tried not to think about reality back in the U.S., it was the longest time I have gone w/o talking to my parents or sister in the last month.

I was sad to learn that although the chemo treatment went as well as can be expected, my mom said my dad was pretty depressed the the day after, but is back to "normal" now. I use quotes, because (even if you don't count the cancer), as anyone who knows my dad would agree, it's debatable whether or not he was normal to begin with.

Long Days

It's been a combination of the longest days of my life. I went to visit Jana last weekend and that helped to get my mind off things. Dad seems to be in better spirits now that the chemo will be underway tomorrow. I'll be spending every other Thursday in Vermont for a while. Nice to visit my sister more often, just wish it was under better circumstances. I received some amazing flowers from my (and my sister's) friend Sparky. They brighten up my kitchen a little, and my mood some too. I guess I'm just trying to keep my mind off everything and keep busy.